If you've been hanging around here since the beginning you might remember my struggle with post natal depression after Ethan's birth.
I struggled for it for a while but with the help of counselors, medication, a great gp and not to forget B, I overcame it. There were times there when I did want everything to just cease to exist and I am scared that I will go through that again.
But I have to remember that there are several factors working with me this time.
- I know my warning signs
- My family knows my warning signs
- I'm better equipped at dealing with low moods to stop them in their tracks
- Because I know my warning signs I am able to ask for help at the first signs of them
Even though I have the above points helping me, it still scares me that it could happen again.
But I have several months up my sleeve to put everything in place to ensure that it doesn't happen again. But some things are out of my control and I have to remember that.
The things that are scaring me the most are the fact that I have to have the baby in Perth, 1600kms away from home. They don't deliver babies here and you have to leave town by 36 weeks. That means that Ethan and I will be leaving town early September and B and the other two will join me when school holidays start just after I reach 38 weeks. It also means that I'll be away from Caden for his 8th birthday and it'll be the longest time period that I have been away from any of my children. But it's the best thing otherwise they will miss too much school.
You'll probably see my writing about this a fair bit over the next few months as I work my way through these fears. But the thing I am trying to focus on the most is just how overwhelmingly happy we all are that our family is growing this year.