Saturday, April 26, 2014

Scared


If you've been hanging around here since the beginning you might remember my struggle with post natal depression after Ethan's birth.

I struggled for it for a while but with the help of counselors, medication, a great gp and not to forget B, I overcame it. There were times there when I did want everything to just cease to exist and I am scared that I will go through that again.

But I have to remember that there are several factors working with me this time.
  • I know my warning signs
  • My family knows my warning signs
  • I'm better equipped at dealing with low moods to stop them in their tracks
  • Because I know my warning signs I am able to ask for help at the first signs of them

Even though I have the above points helping me, it still scares me that it could happen again.

But I have several months up my sleeve to put everything in place to ensure that it doesn't happen again. But some things are out of my control and I have to remember that.

The things that are scaring me the most are the fact that I have to have the baby in Perth, 1600kms away from home. They don't deliver babies here and you have to leave town by 36 weeks. That means that Ethan and I will be leaving town early September and B and the other two will join me when school holidays start just after I reach 38 weeks. It also means that I'll be away from Caden for his 8th birthday and it'll be the longest time period that I have been away from any of my children. But it's the best thing otherwise they will miss too much school.

You'll probably see my writing about this a fair bit over the next few months as I work my way through these fears. But the thing I am trying to focus on the most is just how overwhelmingly happy we all are that our family is growing this year.


3 comments :

  1. I think you are very BRAVE Amy to do this again. It takes a strong person to even think to have another baby after having PND. It took me 7 years and it still scares me. Your lucky to have a wonderful partner and kids.

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  2. Amy, I had the very same fears with my third. What I did do was make sure I had an action plan. I was really clear about what kind of treatment I wanted to engage in, I had strategies to manage anxiety and depression. I told "my supporters" what I needed from them should I be hit with PND and what wasn't helpful. I even started antidepressants late in my pregnancy to counter things ( there are some which are safe to use with breast feeding). As it turned out, I didn't need to as Miss M was a very healing experience and I did get PND again. You CAN do this!! This baby is going to be a beautiful time xx

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  3. That's a long way to go to have a baby! Do you not have access to midwifery services up until you travel late in pregnancy? (Having written it that's obviously a silly question as if you did they could deliver you at home or a closer medical facility)

    I hope that all the steps you're taking help you to prevent it after this birth x

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