Tuesday, January 29, 2013

And what are you going to do?



When we started telling people about our move one of the first questions they asked was "What are you going to do?"

I would usually respond with, "Um, have you met my children? One of which is only 2..."

I mean we were moving across the country and would have no family and friends to help out with child care, I would need before and after school care for two kids and full time care for Ethan if I was to go back to work. Back home I only worked when B was at home so that we didn't need to pay for care, and where we moved to there is limited child care available. So was it really much of a stretch to imagine that I would just stay home with them 100% of the time?

I am completely and utterly happy to be staying home with my children full time. I am now able to without it effecting our finances too much. And I would really like to be able to help at school and also be available to the kids 100% of the time.

I am so grateful that I am now in a position to be able to do this, but I am so over people and their "But what are you going to do" line of questioning. I am a Mother, I am completely fine with that label, so why can't they be too?

Why does only being a Mother have to have such a negative connotation to it? Why do I feel I need to justify myself to people because I only want to be a Mother right now?



I am linking up with Jess for IBOT

30 comments:

  1. I agree with you . I love being a mum , though I do a little work at home for my hub's business.
    Years ago it was completely the opposite.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Trish,

      It's funny how things change over the years.

      x

      Delete
  2. I think so many woman struggle with the concept of just being a mother and they think others feel like that too. I love being at mum now but also looking forward to getting my career back in the future. Enjoy the move and being a stay at home mum :)

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  3. Enjoy your time. I stayed at home for 9 years without working (well a short tupperware stint of 3-4 months) and even now am working from home. Most of my friends in the states went back to work straight away, but many of my friends here in Australia have stayed home for years as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's interesting that it is different in the States, Deb.

      x

      Delete
  4. A few family members have been questioning my choices lately too. It's kind of infuriating. Anna starts kinder tomorrow, which is sessional - 2 mornings and 2 afternoons a week. Who could hold down a job with those kinds of hours? We wanted her to go to the local kinder, so that was our priority. If I went back to work she would remain at her childcare centre which costs significantly more.

    And we do have jobs. Kind of. A blog - lots of hours, very minimal pay ;)

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    Replies
    1. lol, you made me snort my coffee, Ros! Lots of hours and very minimal pay indeed!

      Delete
  5. Living up north.. there isn't much childcare nor activities for kids.. so Its hard to transition from working mother to SAHM.. but at the same time, I think support from your family whatever you decide to do is needed. Moving across the country with no support network is very hard.. especially when your in the middle of nowhere!!! :( But being a SAHM has its great rewards!! I hope you enjoy your time at home xx

    #teamIBOT was here!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh there is plenty of kids activities here, just not much childcare and the ones that are here are mainly unqualified...

      I want to stay home with them until at least Ethan is in grade 1 and then I will re-assess. But I really want to be able to attend all school events and help out at the school, so we will see what happens.

      Delete
  6. Being a mother is a full time job, much more demanding than any other full time job as its 24/7. I hate the negative connotations! Good on you for being a mummy full time. best job in the world!

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  7. I hear you! Now that my youngest will be at school this year, I get told "you'll have so much time on your hands, what are you going to do?"

    Ummm... probably the same thing I've been doing since they were born. Cooking, cleaning, washing, picking up and dropping off people at various activities.

    Being a stay at home mum is an important role and has it's place in the world, along with accountants, retail assistants and pilots!

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    Replies
    1. It is an important role! You are right, and I think I need to tell myself that more often x

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  8. I so relate to your post. I felt bad for being a full time Mum and I now feel bad for going back to work. It seems at times we just can't win.

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  9. There's just no pleasing people, everyone will have an opinion. Just remind yourself you are doing what is right for you and your family and everyone else's thoughts are secondary to that.

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  10. Amazing (and sad) how under-valued motherhood really is in broader society. I've done a bit of full-time mummying, and a bit of part time work over the 5 years since my eldest was born. The working days are/ were so much easier!

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  11. I'm totally jealous - I would love just to be a mum who didn't have to work, especially with 3 under 4.5 - but alas we can't afford it at the mo. ENJOY - Emily :)

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    1. Emily, I worked almost full time hours when we had three kids under 4 too, so I completely understand where you are coming from. We are just in a slightly better position at the moment.

      x

      Delete
  12. To be honest you can't win either way. I work full-time and moved my family halfway across the world 18 months ago for my work.
    The amount of ridiculous comments and questions I got pissed me off. The most common being "what will you do with Miss O?".... umm just leave her to fend for herself NOT. Hubby was SAHD just like he was in Australia, but the questions were always directed accusingly and always at me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

      I wish people would stop with the judging and just be happy for us to be doing whatever works for our families.

      x

      Delete
  13. Thanks for this post. It sometimes feels like there's a stigma attached to taking some time out of the paid workforce to be with the kids.

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    Replies
    1. You're welcome. Thanks so much for stopping by xx

      Delete
  14. Enjoy your time at home with your kids for as long as you can. It is fleeting.
    And there is no such thing as 'just a mother'. x

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  15. Nothing wrong with 'just' being a mum Amy. Enjoy it while they are little because it really does go so fast :(

    ReplyDelete

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