Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Back in the Olden Days...
On the weekend we ventured north to Mackay to celebrate the 21st birthday of one of B's cousins. It was great to catch up with B's extended family, but there was one thing, or rather person that was majorly pissing me off. That person was B's Grandmother... don't get me wrong, I do love her, but one this occasion I couldn't seem to do anything right. Apparently B doesn't get enough rest and relaxation and I as his wife and mother to his children need to be doing everything imaginable to make his life as easy and comfortable as possible. And me being me, I did bite. I asked her when exactly was I supposed to get any rest and relaxation. She let me know that my time would come when the kids left home, until them I lived for them and only them. No time is to be had for myself for at least the next 18 years...
This went down like a lead balloon with me and I told her is was now 2011 and that just isn't how we live anymore.
As a side note when we were having this 'conversation' B was sitting on the couch with a beer in hand watching V8's. I was holding one child and the other two were being tickled by there great grandfather... Prime example of his regular rest and relaxation if you ask me!
She of course went on to tell me how hard she had it when she was at home with her 5 children and her husband worked away. She then went on to question why I wasn't back at work yet... I don't know when I am supposed to have time to work seeing as B isn't allowed to parent his children according to her.
B is heavily involved with our day-to-day life, as he should be. I am not a 1950's housewife, we are not a 1950's family. He is welcomed home by 3 very excited kids, they are always seen AND heard. He does the majority of the bathing of children in this house AND he hung out two loads of washing today! OMG Slap me now for allowing and expecting my husband to assist in the running of the household.
B's grandmother reflects on this in stark contrast to my grandmothers (I am lucky enough to still have both my grandmothers with me) they praise his input and hands on parenting. My Nanna who we just stayed with recently in Canberra couldn't believe just how much he does do with the kids and praised him for it and told me how lucky I was. Not once did she criticise me or him for the way we share our parenting duties. She did continually compare him to my grandfather and how Pop would of never did anything like what B does. He never changed a nappy, never bathed a child, well you get the picture. She did tell me how lucky I was, but never once told me that we should change anything.
Do you get the back in the olden days type stories for your 'elders'? Are they positive stories or do you get crucified like I was over the weekend?